a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize