I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
