hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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