I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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