I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize