Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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