my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
