it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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