Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Drake has all the answers
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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