I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize