speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize