We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
