He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
