strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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