Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My Higher Power is John Stamos
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
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