you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
