Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
