We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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