my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's never too late to be topless.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
