normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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