I skipped work to stalk him.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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