Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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