its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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