i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
