He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
