FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
