So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
