Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
