i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I AM VODKA MAN
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
