Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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