he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
