9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
