i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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