Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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