Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
