I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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