Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
