Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
