Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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