I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
