I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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