So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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