Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
