Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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