I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
