One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize