why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
