Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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