if i died would you start the facebook group?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
