Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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