It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
