you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
