so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
