is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
