How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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