And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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