I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
