I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
