but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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