I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
