Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
