omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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