Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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