She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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