i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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