If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
