The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
All the doctor said was why
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
