I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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