I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize