why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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